There are 5 stages to falling in love with your friend. First your best friends for ages and then you realize that somewhere along the way you had fallen for the other. Of course at this stage you refuse to believe it.
STAGE 1: DENIAL
THINGS COMMONLY SAID:
- “I do NOT like him/her!” (this usually said to another friend close enough to notice the subtle differences)
- “We’re just friends!”
- “Yes mom, I know he/she’s great but we do not like each other that way!” (usually said to the mother or a really overprotective friend)
- “no we are not secretly going out” (said to an annoying acquaintance)
- “Just because we’re friends of the opposite genders doesn’t mean we’re going to fall madly in love and end up married with a dozen kids!” (If this is said to a mother then its usually quickly followed by- “No! That is not ‘so cute!’ nor would it be great mum!”)
Then comes the stage where you get tired of the assumptions and accusations and want to stop defending your friendship to everyone (and secretly yourself) so what happens is either one or both of you get a significant other. If not that at least a fake crush.
STAGE 2: JEALOUSY
THE THINGS COMMONLY SAID:
- “yea, yea they look cute together, big deal”
- “So? I could do that too, it just looks cool that’s all”
- “I’m happy for them, they are made for each other”
- “I get along really well with her/him, we’re like best friends!” (said about the significant other)
- (when asked about your own relationship) “It’s going great, yea I mean we’re in a really good place right now y’know?” or “He/she’s great, really great. We have a lot in common plus he/she is really cute!”
- “I am not jealous! They could get married or whatever! Big deal!”
- “Seriously I do not care!”
- “Good grief they are getting so bloody sickening!”
- “SHUT UP!”
- “yea yea I know everyone thought we’d get together and its sad that we didn’t blah blah get over it!”
The third stage can go in two possible directions
Your friend and you have a falling out due to aforementioned jealousy or because of the significant others meddling.
You and your friend accidentally make out and don’t talk about it leading to a very awkward time in your relationship.
To be honest, unless you’re part of a happy story or a dream scenario 2 doesn’t really happen. Of course unless you’re just lucky. Because scenario 2 leads almost straight to the last stage (so we’ll skip this scenario shall we?).
STAGE 3, SCENARIO 1: THE FALLOUT
THINGS COMMONLY SAID:
- ”You just don’t get it do you?”
- “Typical you, I mean when is it ever your fault!”
- “You know what? Just go back to that little twerp/(word a bit abusive), he/she is all you want anyway!”
- “I cannot believe I ever even thought of you as a decent human being!”
- “Talking to you is just a waste of time”
- “He/she is an utter waste of space, (or) is manipulating you and you just can’t see it, (or) hates me because he/she feels like I’m some sort of threat!”
- “He/she is bad for you trust me!”
- ”You know what? Fine, just fine, go but don’t come crying to me when this whole thing blows up in your face!”
- “Take that back!” (said in response to some degrading insult)
- “He/she is perfect for you, but…”
- “you know what, this isn’t working for me, I’m sorry”
- ”look it isn’t you just drop it
Now you see, this stage is pretty tricky, perhaps one of the trickiest for no two friends ever fight the same way, they bring up scenarios and memories and comments only they can understand. And that’s the beauty of it really, they’re best friends. What really shows it is the weirdness and severity of their fights.
Then they reach an area of despair, both filled with the type of ego only friends can have. Usually they deny missing the other, or perhaps they are disgusted by them. They will vehemently try to prove their point to everyone around them and will scream in frustration at any one who gets in their way.
STAGE 4: THE FRUSTRATION
This stage has varied responses and each individual acts in the mentioned three ways. I wish I could say that they aren’t common things done or said but hey! We know that isn’t true. So things commonly said or done:
- “I hate him/her!”
- “I mean who exactly does he/she thinks he/she is. Plus that idiot(significant other) is such a AARGH!”
- “I don’t miss him/her”
- “look he/she is acting crazy, if he/she wants to talk it out like mature adults then great, I’m willing”
- “he/she’s too proud to admit to the mistake he/she made”
- “Blaming me for everything was extremely immature and I’m glad this whole friendship thing has been dealt with!” (harsh I agree)
- Getting sloshed is common
- Getting pissed off at random things and objects
- Crying(but not admitting it)
- Making crappy profound statements randomly
Then the honesty. Now this is a slightly tricky thing to explain. Some people first realize they are in love while others realize it when they say it out loud to the person itself.
STAGE 5: HONESTY / (the blurt out)
- “I miss you”
- “He/she’s great okay, and I’m sure is perfect you, but thing is…I’m better”
- “I think I can fall in love with you, and I would really like to try”
- “We’re best friends right? And I want to be honest with you, I hate you with him/her. I want to be with you and if that isn’t possible then I don’t know…it’s up to you now”
- “I love you”
- “I’m in love with you”
- “This is crazy, it feels crazy, I’m crazy but yea I think we’d be great together”
- “I miss you, and yea I never wanna feel like that again”
I would love to give a few more but the thing is I lied, these things aren’t commonly said, they are just what seem the easiest to say. Every couple has their own way of coming out and being truthful and defining that conversation is wrong.
And I guess you could say that was the last stage. What happens after that is once again a different story every time. But yea according to me and the little I’ve seen these are the stages of falling in love with your best friend. How do I know? Well can’t you guess?
She wanted me to use a pen name for her. But don't you think she should write more?? Do encourage her by commenting below!!!